Metus
by TheFallensPresent
Summary: She was scared of one thing, so she made a promise.


Just a quick one-shot, please tell me if you see any errors

**Disclaimer: Persona 3 (Portable) not mine**

**EDITED **(hopefully)**  
**

* * *

She had a fear just like everyone else. She had a rational fear that scares her silly, and sometimes makes her cry. She doesn't fear insects or heights. Nor darkness or overcrowding company. To her these things were mundane.

She was scared of forgetting.

She was scared of forgetting_ him. _Everyday when she woke up, she would desperately look for that one memory of him. During class she would look out the window and grasp the fond memories of his dark blue eyes and small, but confident smile that had a mischievous glint in it. When she went to sleep she would try and listen to his small quiet but confident voice.

Her first thought were of him, and her last thoughts were always of him.

But humans weren't made to remember things from long ago. Things begin to disappear, never to be seen or heard again.

It started with small things, like what his favorite food was, and his favorite show. Then she started to forget larger things, like the feeling of his hugs and the warmth of his hands. She started to forget more and more, she would forget so many things that she would cry sometimes, because the fear that claws her heart hurts so much. So she made a promise, she'll always remember him. Always.

That was the main reason as to why she came to Port Island.

She walked the familiar paths and visited the familiar scenes, but just like the humans that lived there, Port Island changed.

No longer did the small park she and him came to play on stood. Nor did the large apartment complex where they lived. She spent a whole day -she even ditched school- to look for that one empty space of land with nothing but overgrown grass and weeds. She finally found the space late in the evening, but now it wasn't overgrown grass and weeds, it was just an empty parking lot.

She doesn't remember why that place was so important.

She spent next few days locked in her room until Mitsuru dragged her out and demanded an explanation. She felt sick, she explained. They accepted the lie.

She tried desperately to obtain something, anything that reminded her of him. She checked her bags, her books, her photo albums, but then she remembered. All her relatives had taken everything, _everything_, away. They took her things, his things, her parent's momentos, and they even took her away. When he desperately clung to his life after the accident, they had taken her far away and claimed it for her own good. Two years later she found out what happened to him. Never before had she felt so much hate.

But no matter how much she wanted to cling to those small memories, the small little things, she had to push them back. Tartarus and S.E.E.S became the most important thing, and then school and then friends.

Her thoughts weren't filled with his smiles or eyes, it was of plans for the next full moon, of the next school council meeting, of the next time she and Junpei will go hang out. She had to find out where the next Shadow will be and who to train for it. She had to think of her friend's reactions, or their requests and troubles. She had to help them, she had to fight for them, she had live with them, live in the present.

She had no time to think of a dead little boy, nor the time to live in the past.

She made new memories, some sad and others joyous. She met new people and she had a new family

When realization hit her, fear had coiled on her heart and it clenched so hard it_ hurt._ Fear paralyzed her in the middle of the street, stopping her in mid-sentence. She couldn't move, she could speak, and the only thing she thought was of him.

But at the same time it wasn't him

What was his smile like? Like Akihiko's? Junpei's? Akinari?

What color were his eyes? Red like her's? Brown like Yukari's? No, they were blue. What kind of blue? Ocean-blue, sky-blue, light or dark?

Was his voice like Ken's? Soft but commanding? Like Maiko's? Confident with a spark of worry?

She tried to paint a picture of him, but she couldn't. The picture was blurry, unrecognizable.

She never felt it when her knees hit the sidewalk, or noticed when her bag fell besides her, spilling it's content all over the sidewalk. She never saw Junpei and Yukari rush to her side and Akihiko's stunned expression, she never heard Shinjiro's questions.

All she noticed was the tears running down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry." she whispered, and only Shinjiro heard her.

She had broken her promise. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She chanted and she brought her hands to over her face.

"I'm so sorry Minato." Because she only had name now, a name and no face.

She sobbed quietly.


End file.
